Made love for so long to the glass in my palm
that even the most beautiful soon lost their charm.
Bourbon or vodka, "Slice of lemon"?, "Yes please"
my drunken flirtations a sexual tease.
Drunk straight how it burns and brings on the flush
the brain numb and sodden to a life in a rush.
Do you hate me or it, the Beast in my soul
all consuming and hungry that swallows me whole?
To love you I'd love to but I need something else
it's there when I'm lonely and boredom is Hell,
it's like it has feelings and needs to be needed
regardless of guilt I drink on unheeding.
Were you willing I'd share, if you covered the costs
of time and money and friendships I've lost.
When I wake up I'm shaking like I'm coming apart
so close to the end I can't remember the start.
I drink doubles or singles, with mixer or straight
closed-eye relaxing I float back through the hate.
Noises become a soundtrack to the life that I hold
fingerprints I leave on the glass so cold.
This romance I've created has a mind all it's own
with me in control when I'm perched on my throne.
I answer to no-one except the feeling at hand
I'd come to you now but you wouldn't understand.


Made love for so long to the pain in my arm
that evn the most beautiful soon lost their charm.
The white or brown, with a lemon drop squeeze
my drugged up hard on a sexual tease.
The rush how it burns and brings on the bulge
the numbness and deadness, sweet-lips cannot solve.
Do yo hate me or it The Beast in my soul
all consuming and hungry that swallows me whole?
To love I'd love to but I need something else
it's there when I'm lonely, when I'm outside myself
it's like it has feelings and needs to be needed
regardless of guilt I plunge on unheeding.
Were you willing I'd share if you covered the costs
of time and money and friendships I've lost.
I'm shaking and sweating like we're drifting apart
so close to the end I can't remember the start.
I take one lump or two, dink it white or black
closed-eye relaxing I float away and then back.
Noises become a soundtrack to the visions I behold
skin crawling and clammy, to the touch I'm so cold.
This romance I've created has a mind all it's own
with me in control when the white-dove has flown.
I answer to no-one except the fire and the "Man"
I'd come to you now but you'd never understand.



A victim of her own mentality
symptomatic: the modern tragedy
a call toward her ancestry
became a scream to no avail.

The slide to unfamiliar obscurity
denied any physical security
with a back full of sharpened cutlery
a face she kept for you.

Chained down by the hopes of family
contempt thrown through unfamiliarity
she cries poor in the hope of charity
the best of her stays lost in time.

The silent phone is it's own testimony
a whole world denied it's destiny
living now befert of company
on a throne sitting ragged and torn.

She was just some-one I knew, a face now cast aside
the name means less than what it cost
than the tears she never cried.




You spoke the words that broke the heart
and choked the throat that lied
You took the vow of the when and how
and left the world that died.
To make the fist with the bloodied palm as hatred burns you up
you saw the real, the fanatical zeal, with eyes that never shut.
Do you feel the urge to binge and purge?
Took to refuge so far away.
Time passed you by, you felt them die, behind words you couldn't say.




The ash-tray breath lies again and rolls her over and dominates
he fingers his pride
lifts her toward the chill.
I've seen him and known him for years
hours as a lab-rat, now days set loose in sewers.
Human refuse his diet
"Feast on their minds"
"Take life for a dessert".
Minutes ticked away in nicotine silence,
breaths seem wasted
words found a sanctuary of their own.
The guilt slipped easily from shrugging shoulders and found a home between the eyes in lead.

He was fashion
he was high-priced chic.
The pile grew at his feet as the pile on the mirror shrank then resurrected itself in a mug.
The vicious circle of "It's understood" finally found it's tail.




My head swims with the visions of those I'm denied
eons that came from moments
that turned flashes to reasons for excitement.
A touch from them to me, a tongue licking lips, the scent of newly washed flesh
All there like a dream, a nightmare of beauty.
My mind achingly full of the carefree.
Yet with me as careful as with a child or a father's pride and joy.
The tarnish kept for the every-day, for me their best, their extreme
their pouty sulk at a missed line
hands held in security
blankets shared on warm October afternoons
Show me them all
HERE!!!
NOW!!!
AT ONCE!!.
Blend them,
swirl them
to the God creation.
A sneaky curl outside striped silk
swollen pink behind borrowed white
an outline beneath a single towel
buttons hurriedly found by trembling fingers
black lace under more black lace
limbs long and lean, athletically muscled through strain.
Their request for a turned head some sign of secrecy
the secret so known.
Tasted, scented, sighted, unbelieved.
And now they drown in my recognition
caught and held
the first glimpse of the naked.
They can't frustrate me to stupidity
my appreciation that I was even there reward enough