You torture me with your "How pained am I "?
a weak attempt to seek an end
a cry for sympathy and understanding.
You disgrace those who'd call you friend.
Scared to face the ghosts that haunt
to face the nothing dead and gone.
Dwelt in that sordid pit you built
clung to your illusions way too long.

Now there you swing or on my floor you lay
What do you want?
You've drained me empty
What I had for you long snuffed out
I can't rekindle feelings I don't have in me

A whole life of choices made
the way you went well lit before you
a path trodden by the past imperfects.
The glass walls too dark to see through
hands they proffered were slapped away
by the one so feeble, turned old
no spirit or will left to challenge.
From the warmth of life to the Death flow cold.





You're at my door and before you knock I've opened up and let you in
I heard the silent foot-steps and felt the exhaled breath
smelt the scent that is your core
it's why you've come, a tear spilt for more.
The brush of lips
"What was that you said"?
an apology for the heart gone dead.
To the cradle the full-grown child, rock me gently to sleep
The unintended pleasure of pain
you touch my skin I come alive again.
Four green balls match the four green walls, match the shirt and heart tossed aside.
The basic need feeds a basic greed
wrap me up in warmth inside.
Do you sleep as I catch my breath and remember that final smile?
Will you lay here and share my dream if I dare to close my eyes
My head, my mouth, my heart and soul is full of the essence of you
my breathing matches yours
in nakedness the perfect view
How far away yesterday's words?
How far away tomorrow's dawn?
And if tomorrow never comes like this for ever more.





Turned on the charm not a drop came out
standing sober amid the drunken shout
Eyes that sting from their burning breath
you talk to me like we've only just met.

Talk is cheap but then so is a smile
you wear the right clothes but you got no style
Set adrift in a river gone dry
the feelings are there but it's too late to try

All those times when you knew who you were
when you though too hard, when you didn't care
Took the lonely walk down the shortened pier
would you be missed if you disappeared?

Doors stay locked-shut to hold out the world
alone in the dark when so much is heard
Even the darkness do close and so near
for Death and Love both hold no fear.





Did you catch a glance as I looked up through tear-filled eyes?
Did you see the cracks in my forced smile while we drank to old times?
Did you hear the voice choked with fear as we talked how we felt?
Did you still the shakes, in the aging frame, note firmness when hands are held?
Did you feel the bumps the goose left when you walked across my grave?
Did you see the way a back looks, not real pretty, when I turned and walked away?






If I had a zipper in my chest I'm sure my heart you'd steal
the friends I'd gathered round you'd turn to pigs so they could squeal
These balls of mine you'd chill 'til tears had filled my eyes
my tongue and lips, my gentle hands, would never touch your thighs.
Your pussy that seems so inviting has legs and a life it's own
to split its fur and taste it's life, I'd take me fill as I went down
My stiff and aching muscles that fit your hand just right
A treasure trove both yours and mine hides and inch away from sight





The spikes full of hate that fire up their veins
like memories of friends they'll never see again
makes distance and time too vast to bridge
the truth like sweat that beads on their lips
Alarm bells unanswered scare life from the night
a cat among pigeons when the able take flight
Footprints in sand that vanish in waves
You've all seen the sign that says "Jesus Saves".

How frail the victims mind?
Solitude with time to find
an end to meaning
what means the end
Lies in haste that waste the friend.

Doors they've slammed shut to keep out your cold
the stare of sure eyes, what you're told, "We've been told"
The unseen, unending, that leads to your door
in a life over-burdened that screamed out for more
in a world where your name became somewhere to hide
to the brink of extinction on the back of a lie

Times when you felt surrounded by Death
both those present and absent having trouble with their breath.






You're flushed and you're cold
you're horny, on "high-beam"
Would you fuck me if I asked, if I had time?
I'm on a mission, twenty minutes I've got
more than enough
a touch enough.
The slick slide, an explosion inside
an apology, an explanation, "It's been a while"
Your smile, your stance
You shuffle, almost dance
Did I move you, swell you with pride, my attention somehow reassuring?
Your brown eyes see me as they talk to your friend
I see the goose-bumps on your flesh, the moles on suntan
Your friend chats, wears the same jeans
then waist-high identical twins walk away
I wonder
"Another day".





Tell-tale signs of a life gone to waste
a lack of belongings, friends with no taste
no taste in friends like the mouth's gone dead
what was had was never lost, fear spins round your head

On first name terms with the "Man" with the goods
a non-interest loan, credit to see you through
Hours within walls, make a cell of you life
a million years too late to ask yourself "Why"?

The mirror reflects the well-lined child
the light shines bright on the meek gone wild
With inhalation, a pin-prick, ingestion you teased
to kill hours or days, or a life-time it seems.